just another "not-send" letter, to the solidary lover

look,
i'm sorry, but i can't kiss you anymore
the sex is great and everything,
and love being with,
actually i love you.
and you always knew, everybody knew
once i fell in love with you, i have never "unfell'.

the moment i realised that you would'nt love me back,
i kept you in a far and cold place inside my heart
but still, you were there, and you still are.
and because of that, every look you give me messes me up in some way.
many times in a good way, a way that made me fell happy, for a change.
but also, many times with one look you managed to destroy my self esteem
and, these last days, have been an emotional rolercoaster for me
these last 17 days, in 12 of them, i cryed and every single time i cryed it was because of you.
the problem is, i don't know if i can bare this any longer
everytime i look for you, you reject me
all i get is a pitty look, and that is certanly the last thing i need.
when you look for me, we usually kiss, and i really dont fell like being on hold, the way that it is now.

i cant kiss you anymore because i cant bare the lack of stability of my emotions,
so please, dont look for me anymore in a sexual way, as a friend you can always look for me for wherever you need.
you can be sure, you will be kept in that cold and far place in my heart, for a really long time, i dont even know if you're gonna leave there someday
the thing is, if you ever feel like being with me for real, come talk to me, if you're still in my heart somewhere, you can be sure,you will get a yes, and as i told you before, its gonna take years to get you out of there, if you ever get out.
so, i hope you'll come talk to me someday.

with cold and distant love
Ice Queen